Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Introducing Sam Anderson!

I beg of you to watch the video. Please.

Review: Actor Sam Anderson and Miss No-Name have together produced, easily the most mind boggling video ever in the history of mankind. A trillion thanks to my friend Ifthikar Ali Talha to have found this. Sam Anderson- undoubtedly a look alike of Thomas A. Anderson aka Neo in the 1999 blockbuster The Matrix- has panache and charisma equivalent to that of Keanu Reeves. The song takes you into a trance state. I was making Jim Carrey's, Me Myself & Irene mpd transition face, only this time without me realizing it. Trinity besides him, if not for the leather suit and a police sunglass, matched Carrie-Anne Moss. Carrie-Anne Moss, though stylish wasn't as cute as this dame. She has perfect features(pause at 2:40 and see it yourself). Shankar has allegedly complained to Sony Pictures for not letting him replace Aishwarya Rai with Miss No-Name in the upcoming Rajini flick Robot or rather iyandhira(tamizh for robot). She has done homework with her looks, she even has tan on her biceps!

Lets not forget the music. If only Yanni can understand such profound music. Female vocalists supposedly sings in frequency beyond 20K Hz, which has led to dolphins swimming mad in the pacific ocean. Dance is well, contemporary. It transcends cultures; swing, cha cha, tango and aerobics dominate in duets, while a subtle touch of facial gimmicks and body turns dominates the solo. A new school of dance indeed.

Highlight: Sam's close up shot and a smile (1:11, how apt? its the nelson!) which some critics say divine and babylike while others say surreal. South Indian villages have printed out color copies of this still and use it to drive away evil forces.

Best Moves:
Duet - Tree breaking hand swing with camera man using first of its kind, mirror technique.
Solo - Miss No-Name has done side-moonwalk to perfection (Michael Jackson withdrew his patent for moonwalk on seeing this) , following it up with few hot gestures and ending it with a blushy, cute and a cho-chweet move(2:04 to 2:18).

Best Costume: Red Van Heusen Shirt and a black low hip Gucci Khaki, white Puma running shoes to add icing to the cake.

Sincere thanks to:
DMK party for the costumes, L'oreal for her dry brown cute pony, Malar Hospital Heart Foundation for providing the director an artifical heart through out the shoot (apparantly he left his original heart in his bedroom where he conceptualized this magnum opus) and last but not the least Turakhia to provide 50% off on power lenses and glasses for all the viewers.

Why God why? This not only emphasizes the downside of cheap camcorders, without which they couldn't have created this but also underlines the need for high precision surveillance satellites hovering over Bihar(for its Bhojpuri videos) and Tamil Nadu, to detect such shootings and nuke'em immediately. He has surpassed Jithan Ramesh, JK Ritesh, Agtor Udaya, Pravin Kanth, Vijay's Cousin Vikranth, Jai Akaash, Perarasu, TR with ease and has reached unseen popularity.

P.S I lost my sleep over this video. I became mentally disturbed, esp on seeing the tag "hip hop" for this video on youtube. I thought I would rather spend the night making a blog post out of it. I'm not jobless, trust me!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Midas Touch

I just couldn't resist.

Look at this for a shot. Brett Lee bowled a pacy bouncer into Sachin's body, Sachin sways back to avoid it and in the final moment of the ball passing decided to push it over the slip cordon, off the meat of the bat. This is why Lara is just a wee bit below Sachin in my books, Lara never adapted, was never consistent, nonetheless a genius by his own standards. Sachin is sheer Ghee!nius! Blissful.

P.s: 3rd Test, Perth, Jan 16th 1st day, Sachin was unfortunately given out on 71 which looked too high on the replay. India were 296/6 with Dhoni and Pathan at the crease at stumps.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Bloody Shit

One song I have been hearing a lot these days is this.
Its the background score in the movie Guru, when Madhavan lip locks vidya balan. Just one of those very romantic scenes, which are very rare these days, that makes a lasting impression. Maniratnam is indeed the best in India. This piece of info is neither bloody nor shitty. Just a random thing.

Ok this post is about a exotic rare (read as, not to be found any where in the sacred WWW, my way of showing the middle finger to google) recipe.

Its called Puzhi-Illa curry(sans-tamarind curry), a misnomer, its actually a kozhambu(sans-tamarind soup/gravy). I think it has its origins somewhere from Tirunelveli district, mostly from(guessing) Ambasamudram, a small village in the Tirunelveli district, in the southern part of Tamil Nadu, India. I learned this dish from my mom of-course, but it has my improvisations. You won't get these even in any of the south Indian restaurants. Quite possible to find in the messes of Tirunelveli (Just a guess).

Disclaimer: I'm an amateurish cook, albeit passionate one. The recipe is normally spicy, spicy by Indian standards. The final product that comes out is totally yours and I take neither credit nor liability for the same. I'm just a way to get there(author smiles divinely!).

I like my food to be spicy. To be succinct, I like it when I feel the need to drink more water, but the dish is so good I do not want to drink and fill my stomach. Absolutely horrendous for your bowels and your skin and to your health in general but who cares if the taste is worth it.


Whole Black pepper(3 to 4 tsp)
Whole cumin seeds (as much as peppers)
Red Chillies (4 to 6 bulb shaped ones / 6 to 8 long red chillies)
Unsweetened shredded coconut (8 tsps may be)
Ghee to saute. (no butter wont do good!)

Some oil to saute.
mustard and cumin for sauting (pinchfull)
onions 1 (large sized)
tomatoes 2 (medium sized)
Green Chillies (3 small)
vegetable of your choice (I would recommend capsicum or brinjal [1 no.])
Turmeric powder for taste.
Garlic paste (1tsp/ 3 garlic slices)
coriander powder for taste (optional)

Moong dal (1 cup)


Boil the moongdal in a pressure cooker with enough water so much so that its a thick syrup when beaten. While that cooks.....

Take a pan, add ghee, let it melt and then add the pepper and cumin seeds(3 to 4 tsps each or may be 5). Follow it with red chillies. When these become sauted, add the shredded coconut. Bend down and smell the pan, you should smell ghee and coconut oil. If you don't, then add the corresponding ingredient until your nose discerns both the flavors distinctly. Do not over saute!. Let it cool when its done.

While its cooling, cut the onions, tomatoes and the elective vegetable. All diced. Slit the green chillies.

Grind the sauted spices in a mixer. Add water like you add a solvent using a burette, slowly and only when needed. Grind it neither too course nor too fine(too fine as in flours). Adding too much water will make it a fine paste and that is not what we want. I like to stop when it resembles a sand and water mix.

Now to saute the cut vegetables. Add mustard to the hot cooking oil, wait for it to splatter, then the cumin seeds. Follow it up with green chillies. Add the garlic paste or the mashed garlic slices. Then saute the onions. Once the onions turn sorta transparent (if its red onion) or golden brown(if its a white onion), add the tomatoes and the elective vegetable. Then add the coriander powder(2 tsps). My mom wont add this. Nor she would add the garlic. Cover the pan and let it cook it simmer. Mix occasionally. Cook until the raw smell of the ingredients goes away.

By this time, the moong dal would have been done. Open it, beat it and transfer it to an cooking bowl. Add the possibly half cooked vegetables to the dal. Add the ground paste. Mix well and let it cook, until the elective vegetable is well cooked. ADD SALT TO TASTE. Add water if you feel its too thick or let it boil if you feel its too watery. Its usually much thicker than the standard Sambhar. It looks a dark brown thick grainy liquid. Edible though.

This serves 3 to 4. Depends on the spice consumption capability of the devourers.

This is best served with boiled rice and a curry/side dish with a tinge of tamarind in it. I add tamarind water to the curry when I make it along with this exotic dish.

I prefer brinjal curry with this. Unbeatable combo! Have fun eating it.

Follow it up with a serving of curd rice or lassi (chaas). You will need it, lemme tell you that.

This is neither bloody nor shitty. But the thing that comes out next day morning sure is both!

Hence my title. Tada.

P.s I make it spicy, you can play around with the green chillies, pepper and red chillies. I want you all to enjoy this and not consult a gastro-blah-blah-ist. So please try it and lemme know how it turned up. If you feel, the title is not so apt, yay, that was my intention, hide it from google! May the most patient food lover searching for the most rarest exotic south Indian dish ever, get to read this. Of-course you are a lil more privileged!

Friday, January 04, 2008

True Love

What is he? Is that a bat or a chisel that Michelangelo held? Is his mind as strong as that of Gandhiji's? Is it a straight drive or a stroke of a painter wielding his brush making his magnum opus? Is he the greatest sporting hero ever one could see in a life time? Am I the one of the gifted people to have seen him all my life, covering all his career? Does he hold the happiness of millions of hearts world over? Is he a genius ? Is he a legend? Is he human?


To watch his 38th century live on the internet over a poor connection, swearing comcast, more like a screen saver than a video, I bow in submission to this one guy alone for what he has done for the past 19 years.

The numerous goosebumps, the saliva swallowing moments when the heart skips a beat or 2, the euphoria which makes the eyes a little wet, I owe a lot of great moments of my life to this one man. The banner in SCG said "Commit your crimes now, because even the Lord his watching when Sachin's playing" and another one said "SCG : Sachin Cricket Ground" rather than Sydney Cricket ground.

I have never fallen love with someone, so I never understand the magnitude when I hear poets go gaga about their love on how they have gone 'speechless', 'lost in trance', 'short of words'. If I'm right, that is the exact feeling on my mind.

I'm just waiting for the article from Nirmal Shekar, sports editor for The Hindu, who worships Sachin. I remember his words, when the whole world was unjustly -a cliche, stereotypical homosapien trait of being cynical, Freud would call it mob mentality- asking him to retire, he explains the 'Potterisation' of this little maestro in this poetic article. If only you lowly souls can understand and feel the essence of his words. When I said I was gifted it entails/includes my ability to read Shekar's mind when I read that article. Yeah I'm bragging alright, but who cares, if only you could understand the euphoria that this genius little man brings to my life.

I potterise him. I have fantasized him to play innings he himself wouldn't have fantasized and that's were he transcends the boundary of being a 6 sensed human and becomes a God. The potential to remotely evoke extreme thoughts in the minds of people is what fuels him past that boundary. Every time I finish my excursion in to those fantasy lands and get my foot firmly planted on the ground, my scientific mind spits some rationale in to my imaginative mind, screams that this 5' 6" desi with few extra pounds is 'Yet another hydrocarbon' and not a God(whoever that is), that's when I truely understand his ingenuity. He is just a human. That's why he is a genius. If he were god, I would be booing him for his unfair potential. No, he is just another simple human being. His success is a symbol of love like the Taj mahal, for me it is bigger and beautiful than the 'Mughalian' monument. He is just another guy who loved playing cricket. If you think the poetic, legendary/cult movie Forrest Gump was an exaggeration of emotions and story telling in general, you are wrong. I was wrong. There are people who do things like him. Like the old man who weaved those baskets for 8 years straight, like the old man with a self woven dhoti drove an empire away, empire where the sun never set, like the normal human, who became the 'chosen one' because he loved trinity, like the guy who ran for 3 years and 6 months straight for no reason and who loved Jenny 'unconditionally'. This 'Yet another hydrocarbon' who became the chosen one because he truly loves cricket more than anyone else. Period.