Thursday, July 07, 2005

SMS.... Save My Soul

its been 20 years since i was born...

i had to overcome so many battles.... 10th board, 12th board, entrance, 4 yrs of engineering, GRE preparation, IIT interview... all these accompanied by mental instability at times, emotional discomfort.... now going abroad seems like just another struggle...

No... i need to take back my word... "just another struggle"...

Did i overcome those struggles all by myself?
Can i pat my back for my "so called accomplishments" ?

i was groomed in a green house, with all the necessary ingredients
required for making of a good human being... to be true i had been spoon fed.....

I'm gonna get sentimental and stuff... yeah i needed cut loose someday... this is it i guess...

To start with, my parents...

Amma... everyone's angel... "Universe is finite but unbound" says einstein.. i never grasped the feel of it... until i grew bigger and got matured enough to realise the depth of her unbound, infinite love... i think i will never be able to love someone like she loved me...
i had shouted at her, i had made her cry so many times that it amounts several times greater than she had cried not because of me.
i had hurt her so bad... and its been a consistant riddling of insults and scowling... all i get back is "a fleeting nominal curse (she doesn't even mean it a bit) followed by the cliched yet very comforting wave of warmth and PURE 911 unadulterated LOVE"...
i can go on and on... so many anecdotes to make me feel extremely guilty... but after all Time and Space are bound unlike her Love and the universe... Now i can completely understand the meaning of the thirukkurazh..."Punish the evil doer with a good deed".. she has unwarrantedly punished me.... She is gonna break down in the airport for sure... the biggest punishment i will ever get... i badly hope out of the odds to protect my masculine shell and be a man... " that is not to cry" not breakin down...
She was, is, will be my ANGEL. with utmost feel "enathu vaanam nee... izhandha siragum nee..."


Appa... people who know me will have a notion that i'm a wee bit intelligent etc etc.... i was architected by this genius of a man...
My First teacher and will be a teacher for ever... he taught me
mathematics, cricket, science, tamil, ssc blah blah... most importantly the rules of leading a meaningful life.. with his own as a case study.. how to respect people, how to deal with people, ... How To's are as big as Linux How To's!!
!!
Tough time imagining how i would have grown up if he was not tuning me up the way he did..... i would have been a rogue... big mouthed good for nothin kid..
He is always My Big God Father!!


Madhan.... my big bro... i had never called him "Anna" once in my life..... though he is 7 years elder to me..... probably the guy who has influenced me the most... more than my appa...... my skill set is a proper subset of his... he taught me how to dance... "the cross legs"... made me a fan of sachin, Mj.... made me relish good music... taught me maths since my 10th... dad ran outta gas thats y.....
his character is flawless.... never even utters or thinks ill of someone... had a tough time earning a good name among my relatives... he was the "pet" for them...
the fights we had had are numerous... even when i was 18 we had a cheap fight... it got physical and as usual i was the loser...
In short, he is my MJ, my Sachin, my A R Rehman.... my ROLE MODEL!!! ...


Next comes a league of extra ordinary ladies and gentlemen.... my friends....

the list is pretty long.....

Easwar.... this guy has been in my books for a long time now... 11 yrs r so..
someone to whom no one will open out and dish out his/her sorrows...
but he's in phasae with me... very enigmatic.... lotta ppl misunderstand him..
but not me.... i know him very well... the one guy whom i will miss the most i guess,
simply because of the fact that i have been with him for a long time and he has tolerated
me for sometime!!!!... BROTHER would be an overkill; BEST FRIEND is an UNDERSTATEMENT... i hear mustaine's lead for she wolf..


A Sight i would miss!!

other school pals...

Akshaya, karpagavalli, Uthra.... this trio is the first set of people whom i got to make friendship
with from the other sex.... the realisation of the difference between the sexes... i found them as an emotional back up or a power house... i for some reason can open out to them pretty easily...

Akshaya... she knows a lot about me... short temepered, sweet, idiotic, friendly, sensitive, sportive. She had made me feel guilty... i had made her cry...thats why?? Now we have a interrupted communication due to her job and has problems of her own... in a husky voice i sing "what else should i say... 'ALL APOLOGIES' ..."

Karpagavalli... a very pleasing friend to have... a stereotypical south indian hindu girl... extremely pious... enigmatic at times... talkin like a don..'she is a "A SILENT KILLER" '

Uthra... special friend of mine... short and sweet. wierdly sensible for a female and unusually ambitious for an eve (i 'm not a male chauvenist but empirically speakin). i always run outta words when i write about this dame...damn... singin in high pitch "UNFADED PRIMA DONNA"

Prasanna... my class mate for 7yrs... this gifted irritator is often a sceptic or atleast pretends to be one for the sake of irritatin ppl.... he's "well settled".. so he wont miss me but i will.. "Alen Nair Iverson"

Shyam... classmate since 8th std...hard workin, reticent, intelligent. Never leaves a thing for tomorrow... and will prosper in any environment... "Arisikara theru hero"

College pals... esp my dept pals..

Suchai... my favourite friend... check the previous post for more details...he really deserves a separate post!!! humming mustafa's chorus "oh oh o........ oh oh"

Rajiv G mehra... sweet is often used with females... but i'm forced to call him so.. he's also on the sensitive side like the opposite sex...though very irritating at times... he's a great friend to have... "dil chahta hai..."

This blog is apparantly incomplete... as i dint have time to complete and i also found out i was running outta craetive juice to make my blog, esp the one about my friends and family, a good read... writing about everyone i love is very tedious and if someone find out that i haven't cared to put the pen down about them is extremely painful... so i wanna say all those who r mentioned in this post and all those who aren't and who consider me as a good friend are always very special to me... so no hard feelings... may be i will blog later about these invaluable possessions of mine... whne i get some time and when i feel extremely nostalgic................





5 comments:

Janardhanan (JAY) UIC said...

I liked the flow of the article.. especially when you described mom.. really touched my soul... nice article... vijay

Anonymous said...

Hi Da..
It seems U know Easwar well before college days...!mm,
As u said, our parents are the only ppl who cares and loves abt us always...
-Bharath

Anonymous said...

Dude well written......appreciate it....
U really cut loose like Sachin :) :)

Rakesh......

Random thoughts from Chennai to Canada said...

AMAZING!!!!!The way you described your family members would make any heart melt...

Macadamia The Nut said...

Aww! That's really sweet!